The Odd One Out
Romans 8:12–17
12 So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
Every Christmas and New Year’s we would visit my cousins in Canada and in the summer they would usually come to the States to see us. As I reflect on that now, it occurs to me that we might have had that backwards; after all who wants to go even further north during the winter? However, I specifically remember one holiday spent visiting our neighbors to the north when I was around 7 years old. There was a party happening at a stranger’s house who I didn’t know, where I for sure didn’t want to be. I was a stranger in a stranger’s house. I didn’t feel like I belonged there. These were friends of my family and not people that I knew. As the night went on, I found solace in the tv which was tuned into a hockey game. As a 7-year-old, I knew little to nothing about hockey, and as an adult, I still know next to nothing about it, but since it was on, I sat and watched.
It was the US men’s hockey team versus the Canadian men’s hockey team, a heated rivalry. I watched as one of the US players weaved in and around the defenders and took a shot at the goalie. “GOAL!” I cried at the top of my lungs. Immediately I looked around the room expecting to see everyone else jumping up and down celebrating the goal as I did, but the room was ice cold and silent. Had I been a little older, it might have dawned on me sooner that I was the only American in a room full of Canadians. If you could win awards for cultural faux pas, I would have won the gold. It only further solidified the feeling I had experienced since I walked through the door; I did not belong.
Maybe you’ve had a similar experience where you felt like you didn’t belong. It could have happened when you visited another country or visited a place down the street. Maybe you feel like you don’t belong in your own family or even like you don’t belong in a church. Paul’s words to those who have trusted in Christ and received his Spirit is that you do belong. You’ve been brought into the family. You don’t have to feel like the outsider.
“Want to know how you know that you belong?” Paul says. Look to the Holy Spirit’s work in your life. It’s the Spirit’s job to bring assurance that you belong. And when the Spirit is doing his work, you will not “live according to your flesh,” but by God’s grace working in your life, you will start to put to death those things that are not in accordance with your new identity as God’s beloved child.
You’re not a second-rate son or daughter in your Father’s eyes, you’re right on top. You’re a co-heir with his son whom he loves. Your adoption into God’s family means that God loves you so much he sends his Spirit to confirm that you do belong. And it’s only through that Spirit that we can even call out to God as our Father.
Maybe knowing all of this you still struggle with feelings that you don’t belong. In our everyday life in our family relationships, our friendships, and sometimes even our marriages, it’s common for us to be afraid that we don’t belong. That’s the spirit of fear talking. Don’t listen to the spirit of fear; listen to the Spirit who enables us to cry out, “Father!” And his response is, “You belong here my child.”
